all i know...

recently i have been listening to and reading blogs from a friend of mine.

it has sort of...i don't know.
just maybe discouraged me a little.

anyway, i wanted to get my thoughts out there, not only for others to read, agree, disagree, or glean from, but mostly for myself, just to really put them into words, and make it more concrete in my mind.

"we can't know anything" is what my friend is currently living his life based on.

i honestly don't know where to begin with my thoughts on this subject.
i guess by saying yes, we can know things.
we can know quite a lot, to be perfectly honest.
let me just set up a hypothetical situation.
i have just boiled some water for us to have some tea.
as i'm bringing the pot of scalding hot water over to the table, i stop and hold the kettle over your head.
i start to tip it.
now, anyone in their right mind would scream "STOP!" and jump out of their seat, so i'm guessing that you are going to do this.
you do this.
i say "what is it?"
you say "you were going to pour that hot water on my head".
there is my point.
in this particular instance, you have proven to know (at least) 2 things.

1) the laws of gravity. if i tip the pot over your head, you know it will pour out on you. if we didn't know anything, and nothing was for sure, how could we know that this would really happen? although you may have a memory, or some experience where gravity was working properly, how do you know that it will do the same now? there is no consistency. Since we can't know anything, and we can't trust our senses or recollections, why would you think that the water would fall on you?

2) water is hot, and it will burn you. once again, although you may have a faded memory or recollection of boiling water being hot, why would you think that it's going to be hot again? why wouldn't it be cold this time? why would it hurt you?

you would never let me pour the water on you.
because you know the water will be hot.


i have struggled with being able to know things...a lot actually. how can i really be sure that i am here, and that you are there, and that i am typing real words that are legible to others? Is everything subjective?
no, says i.
the only way i can know this is because of the beautiful consistency of our world.
there is almost always a reason to the rhyme.
when you put water over a flame, it gets hot....every time.
when you jump into a swimming pool, you are going to get wet....every time.
what goes up must come down....all the time.

all is in motion.......cause and effect.....

Don't claim you love me, cause you know that's not true

...right now i just want to read my bible.
i just want to be close to God.
i want Him to be near to me, to hold me.


i am hurting for you, my friend...
my heart breaks at each thought of you.

I thought I heard him call, instead I heard nothing at all

ughhhhhh

help

hotel rwanda is an amazing movie.

the sad thing?
it's a true story.
it's not sad that paul rusesabagina saved the lives of 1200+ tutsi refugees.
not one bit.
that's the only redeeming fact here.
what i think is sad is that no one helped him.
america, france, belgium and various other countries knew about it and did nothing.
yeah, the U.N. was there but they hardly did anything to remedy the situation.
what was happening there made the evening news here.
WE DID NOTHING.
nothing.
that is so disgusting.
we sat by and watched this massive genocide go on.
we had the means to help them and save thousands of lives.
instead, we just said "oh my god....that's terrible" and went on eating our dinners.
we are a rich, powerful nation and we care more about who britney spears is marrying this week than we do about thousands of people dying.
and im not just talking about the rwandan crisis.
im taking about everywhere.
children starving. dying of aids and other diseases. drinking brown water. eating once a month. walking 10 miles every day to avoid being forced to become a rebel with a gun. families living under cardboard boxes and ripped tarps or garbage bags.
we are so wasteful.
so selfish.
so........uncaring.
i want to help.
i want to be less selfish.

i want to help.
im going to africa next summer.
to ghana, west africa.


how can you help?
help here.
or
help here.

no, i don't hate you....but right now, i just don't like you

is this bitterness?



.....i think so....