you don't have to move, you don't have to speak

"be human, be vulnrable, be real, be hurt, be rational, be flexible, learn, grow, move on. be human once again."

-stephen christian

it's...........hard.

i see him now with someone else, and as much as i want to move on....i feel like i can't move from this spot, i feel like my feet are glued to the ground where i stand.

he says the same things to her that he said to me.

all of the exact same things.

i thought i was special.
i thought the things he said were special.
i thought we were special.

and now i see.
now......i see.


my (our) bracelet fell off the other day.
it broke.
i made us both one.
he took his off long ago.
i kept mine on....just to keep the hope alive.
i hoped.
it broke.
i want to take that as some sort of sign, some sort of green light....something to give me a reason to get over him.
i am over him.
what i'm not over.....what i'm not over is us.

gah.